And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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