Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
