I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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