I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
