Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
