Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
