Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize