we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
