if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize