I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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