I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
