8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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