Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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