did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im six kinds of drunk right now
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
