I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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