i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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