You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Houston, we have a blender
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
