Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I want to fling myself into the sun
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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