I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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