someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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