Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
