I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
