We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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