you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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