Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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