Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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