Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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