i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
well you can't waste a boner
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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