If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
