I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
