I'm really into asian looking animals
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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