I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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