how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
