What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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