i permit you to call me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
