We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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