my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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