so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
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I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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