i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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