just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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