it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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