Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
