dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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