Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
