I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize