Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
