brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
