no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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