Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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