Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize