I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
