Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We need to get me chipped asap
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
