So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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