Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
