Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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