Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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