i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize