There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
this is an emotional support booty call
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
