We're facebook friends in real life
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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