just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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