dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
