Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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