I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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