Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
