Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
