My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
