Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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