this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize